


Verus Amor Non Morietur

by Gzmoii



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: I wrote this while listening to a sad malec playlist and crying, M/M, Raphael is Magnus' Son, Shadow World Hybrids, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 10:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11965302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gzmoii/pseuds/Gzmoii
Summary: A Warlock’s magic never fades. It would linger quietly, finding its place with those who mattered most to the deceased Warlock, letting their spirit appear in apparitions until the magic, without any real direction, finally faded into a small hum, just barely present in the lives of a Warlock’s loved ones.Alec learns that even though Magnus is immortal, he is not invulnerable.





	Verus Amor Non Morietur

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone that hasn't read the tags, MAGNUS DOES NOT DIE PERMANENTLY. I could never just kill him off and leave it like that in good conscience

 

Alec wasn’t aware that it was possible to feel so numb while also suffering in such agony. Every second that passed was of pure suffering, like his heart had been ripped from his chest and next his skin tried to separate itself from the muscle tissue covering his bones.

            But he didn’t want it to stop. Not even for a second. Because it was all he had left of the love of his life.

            Once before, during the quiet hours of the morning after an intense night of a lovemaking, the sun streaming in through the window making Magnus’ skin look just as gold as the sheets they lie under, Magnus had told him that a Warlock’s magic never fades. It would linger quietly, finding its place with those who mattered most to the deceased Warlock, letting their spirit appear in apparitions until the magic, without any real direction, finally faded into a small hum, just barely present in the lives of a Warlock’s loved ones. This, though? This was different.

            After Camille had killed Magnus and stolen him away, burying his lifeless body in the ground where Alec’s love could not reach him, she had waited to receive the unsurmountable rush of Magnus’ unmatched power settle within her. Instead, Alec’s Alliance rune pulsed once, twice, three times before putting him in his current predicament. Magnus’ magic would never fade into the background, not as long as he was alive. Because the power that had previously belonged to Magnus had suddenly become completely and totally his. And this power surpassed what even he had believed Magnus to possess. This was far beyond what anyone could have imagined.

            “Alec?” Isabelle said carefully, then, in a concerned voice. “Jace?”

            As the pain began to fade, Alec allowed his eyes to open. He was only inches away from Camille and where she had buried Magnus’ body deep underground, and he was suddenly filled with the kind of anger he had not allowed himself to experience since he had branded the calm anger rune into his skin. He could feel the rune fizzle out and disappear, yielding to the power of Magnus’ magic and to the anger he felt at the love of his life being taken from him so suddenly. “I’ll kill you!” He shouted, one of his eyes like that of a cat’s, bright gold with a single thin, slitted pupil. “For taking him away from me, you have to die!” The magic reached out toward her at his command, wrapping around her throat and squeezing. Camille didn’t even have a second to react before the magic hardened around her, and suddenly Camille’s severed head was lying at their feet.

            “Alec! Alec, you killed her!” He was only faintly aware of Clary, who was watching on in horror, clutching tight onto Jace, who had crumpled to the ground from the pain that Alec had shared, albeit muted, with him.

            “She deserved it.” Alec’s voice held no remorse as he rose to his feet, walking forward. He collapsed onto his knees, blindly gathering the dirt from Magnus’ grave into his hands before he finally released an agonized cry, the tears falling freely as he allowed himself to finally cry.

            Clary hung back, paralyzed in horror as Isabelle and Jace flanked him on either side. “Ave Atque Vale.” His siblings whispered in unison, offering what they could to soothe Alec in his distraught state.

            “He was my best friend,” Isabelle said quietly to herself, a few tears falling as well. “Magnus Bane was more of an angel than any Shadowhunter who claimed their blood. He was selfless, kind, and—“

            Alec’s choked voice cut her off. “Please don’t leave me.” He whispered. “Magnus, I need you. I can’t keep going without you. I can’t live in a world without you in it.”

            “He hasn’t left you.” Clary stepped forward. “His magic...it stays with you. Luke once told me about it. His magic chose to give itself over to you completely. That’s never happened before

            “You’re half-Warlock now, Alec. Magnus is a part of you. Question is, what does this even mean? We need to run tes—“

            “Jace, please. Just. Later. Not now.” Alec shook his head. “Can I have some time alone? I want to say goodbye.”

            The three Shadowhunters nodded. Slowly, they all left Alec, standing close enough to protect him if necessary, but also far enough away to satisfy his need for loneliness.

            As the three of them walked away, Magnus’ magic wrapped around the area surrounding Alec protectively, throwing up wards to prevent anyone from hearing what he had to say.

            Alec cleared his throat, wiping away the tears hastily as he spoke. “I didn’t think I would ever have to lose you.” He spoke freely, not afraid of anyone becoming privy to the words he spoke. “I had always expected that I’d be with you for the rest of my mortal life. That we’d eventually get married, adopt children, and maybe one day I would go on a mission and never come back. I had always hoped, though, that that day would never come, and by the blessings of the angel above I’d be able to grow old, wrinkly, and gray with you by my side. That I’d love you when I was no longer a Shadowhunter. The one thing I hadn’t expected was _this_.” His voice broke on the last word, and he had to breathe in deeply to prevent himself from crying once again. “Even after the threat of Valentine and the Soul Sword, you came out alive. We both did. And after that, I’d convinced myself that if we survived it, there was nothing we couldn’t do. I convinced myself that we were going to be together for the rest of my life.” He let out a loud sob, “I was planning on asking you to marry me tomorrow, on the fourth anniversary of the day we really met, when you saw me at Pandemonium and then disappeared through a portal. Even though that can never happen, I still want you to have the ring. It’s the Lightwood Ring, and it’s nothing special. But I, um, I had it engraved.” He stared at the ring, the lettering within the ring seemed heartbreakingly ironic now. It was something that Magnus had told him more than once, and for the last time just before Camille had ended his life. “I will never stop loving you.” He said finally, leaving the ring on top of the grave. “I will never move on because there is only one person that I will ever want. It’s you, Magnus. It will always be you.” The magic he felt flowing within him was comforting, and better than nothing at all, but it would never feel the same as having Magnus, solid and warm and _alive,_ right next to him.

He directed the magic, used to controlling it when he and Magnus wielded the magic together through the Alliance rune, and lowered the wards around the area, creating a portal in front of him. As painful as returning there might be, there was no way he could go to the institute to sleep. Alec just wanted to go to the place he had come to know as his home.

 

* * *

 

            “Raphael.” Alec breathed out his name when he opened the portal just to see him sitting down Magnus’ favorite love seat, his head in his hands.

            “He’s gone...isn't he?” Raphael sounded only minimally better than Alec did. He reached into his shirt, taking out a small, previously enchanted, cross that hung from a silver chain. It burned his fingers when he touched it, Magnus’ magic no longer protecting the last connection he had with the religion that he held dear. “Whoever did this...did you kill them?” He lifted his head, his red, puffy eyes meeting Alec’s own.

            Alec nodded his head. “Camille is dead. I cut off her head with Magnus’ magic. My parabatai and the others should handle the rest.”

            “I hope she suffered,” Raphael licked his lips. “It’s what she deserves. I came here because around the time of the Soul Sword, Magnus handed his will over to me. It’s my responsibility to make sure it’s all carried out.” He took a deep breath. “The loft is yours. All his bank accounts are accessible to you, but if any other Shadowhunter or Clave affiliate tries to access it, I am at liberty to remove all the money to a separate account that you will never be able to access again. All his potions and ingredients are to be left to the nearest magic user, which is coincidentally you but was meant to be Catarina, so you will discuss this with her. Spell books are the same deal. His properties across all seven continents all go to you as well, but his antique galleries will all go to me. Magnus assured me that he would never allow you to want for anything on the off chance that he passed before you did.”

            “I just want Magnus,” Alec admitted. He knew Raphael probably was thinking the same thing. Over time, they had bonded with each other over their love for Magnus. Even though Raphael’s was like that of a child’s love for their parent, and Alec’s was a pure, romantic love, they related in the notion that Magnus came first in both their lives.

            Raphael nodded. “So do I.” He couldn’t stop the few tears that fell from his eyes. “He was the closest thing to a father I’ve ever had, and he’s gone. When we met, I was barely 14 years old. Magnus was there to provide for me and my family when my mother got too sick to work and eventually died, and he took care of me after I turned. I would give my life if it meant having him back.”

            “I can’t live without him, Raphael.”

            “You have to.”

            “We both do.”

 

* * *

 

            It was dark. Darker than anything Magnus had ever experienced. His fingers twitched, fighting against a great weight on top of him. He tried to reach out, to escape whatever was imprisoning him with his magic, but when reached out to the power deep within him, it was too faint for him to access, like it was almost entirely gone. What he lost, however, was replaced with an inhuman strength, and he found himself clawing through the dirt and emerging from the ground. It took several moments for his eyes to adjust, and he found that his two eyes were different now. He could still see in the darkness with next to no trouble with his cat-like vision, but only with a single eye. The other, while enhanced, was different. He couldn’t place it with anything he’d ever seen before. His ears picked up the quiet sound of something shifting on the ground around him, and he reached out to grab it. It was a ring he’d recognized. It was engraved with the Lightwood family crest, but when Magnus looked closer he noticed other words engraved onto it.

            “True love cannot die.” He read, coughing out dirt halfway through his sentence before finishing in a broken, cracked voice. He remembered saying this to Alexander, just before he died. But if he had died, why was he still standing, looking perfectly unharmed?

**_Thirsty._**

            Magnus’ eyes widened when he heard the unmistakable sound of a beating heart, coupled with the sound of rushing...water? No. . .blood. It was blood, rushing through someone’s veins, and just the sound made his mouth incredibly dry. He felt sharp fangs extending out, digging into his bottom lip as his own voice echoed in his head.

            **_Thirsty._**

**_Feed._ **

            Magnus reached out his hand to create a portal, realizing what had happened to him, but nothing happened.

            This was bad.

            Magnus needed to get to his loft and fast. Before he ended up surrendering to his frenzy. The voice echoing inside his head was only getting louder, encouraging him to make the nearest warm body his dinner. He knew there were bags of blood inside his loft, but if he passed any mundanes on his way there, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from feeding on them. The sound of their pounding hearts and delicious, rushing blood was already resounding loudly in his ears, and he used his enhanced vampire speed to race to his loft, taking only the back roads, making sure he stayed as far as possible from all people.

            But then, the same sound was coming from his loft, even more enticing than the mundane blood. It was angel blood, pumping through the veins of whoever was in his loft. It made his mouth water, fangs protruding as he used his enhanced speed to tackle whoever was there to the ground, his fangs only inches from their gorgeous, pale neck, marred only by the deflect rune covering their pulse.

            Wait.

            Deflect rune.

            For some reason, that minor detail made Magnus pause, although he couldn’t quite figure out why. Before he could dismiss the thought and finally satisfy the burning thirst that was plaguing him, Magnus was being thrown off, his back hitting a bookshelf with a loud crash.

            “Magnus!” Raphael shouted at him, his eyes wide with both sadness and horror. “You don’t want to do that.”

            Magnus knew he was right, but he couldn’t quite figure out why. He was so thirsty, it was hard to even consider anything else. “It burns.” He croaked out, bloodshot eyes landed on the delicious neck that contained so much angel-tinted blood. “Thirsty.” His eyes finally drifted away from the neck, landing on the face of the angel-blooded man. He knew he should recognize him, even if his thirst was trying to force him not to. He knew that sculpted, masculine jaw, those deep-set brows.

            “Alexander,” Magnus spoke around his elongated fangs, then covered his mouth when his love’s eyes landed on them.

            “She did this to you.” He said quietly, but it was filled with more relief than anger. He stepped forward. “Magnus,”

            “Stay away from me!” Magnus screamed, what he had almost done finally sinking in as Raphael approached him warily, holding three bags of blood. He turned away from Alec, ashamed, and tore into the bags, eagerly drinking them in and moaning aloud at the heavenly taste. When he’d had his fill, his eyes landed on Alec. There was blood around his mouth and on his chest, although he was sure some of the latter was his own.

            “She turned you.” Raphael blocked Magnus’ view of Alec, cupping his cheeks before pulling his father against his chest, holding him tight. Magnus closed his eyes, relaxing against him and slowly stroking Raphael’s hair with bloody fingers as he cried loudly.

            “My sweet boy.” He whispered. “I’m here for you. Don’t worry, I’m here.” He comforted him. It was during times like this where Raphael looked so small and helpless, and Magnus was reminded of the little boy he had met nearly a century ago with the permanent frown on his face and a pure, loving heart.

            “You died.” Raphael sobbed loudly. “You’re undead.”

            “I am.” Magnus nodded. There was no point in lying. Raphael was a vampire, too, and the frenzy he’d been in had clearly already given the truth away. “But I’m still here.” His skin no longer held the healthy flush or the warmth that Raphael liked to envelop himself in even now when he was well past adulthood. “I’m sorry for leaving you.” He opened his eyes, slowly allowing himself to meet Alec’s gaze as Raphael tightened his grip on Magnus’ bloodied clothing, allowing himself to cry openly.

            Magnus watched as Alec reached onto his other bicep, giving himself a hard pinch, wincing before letting out a full-bodied sigh of relief. He sagged onto the ground, landing painfully on his knees before slowly crawling over to Magnus.

            “Alexander.” Magnus stopped him before he could finish. “Wait.”

            Alec’s face held a silent question.

            “I can smell the angel in your blood,” Magnus explained. “I can hear it rushing through your veins and I can hear your heart pumping blood throughout your body and I want it. I want it all.” He admitted, shame coursing through him. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

            “I don’t care.” Alec shook his head. “I lost you. Please let me have this.” His eyes landed on the Lightwood ring that had found its way onto Magnus’ finger. “Please.” He continued to move forward. He knew he looked pathetic, and he would hate for anyone other than Magnus and Raphael to see him like this because they would judge him for his state. But these two understood what he was feeling, and wouldn’t.

            Magnus tenderly held Alec’s hand, his one brown eye and one cat eye blinking as he stared at their interlocked fingers. He felt his magic rushing through him from where they were connected, flowing back and forth between the two of them. “My magic found you.” He couldn’t help the smile that came onto his face as he watched Alec cry. He let go, expecting all his magic to return to him, but he was left with only half of it and a single cat eye while Alec had the other. “I missed you.”

            “Never leave me again.” Alec grabbed Magnus’ hand, letting the magic travel through the two of them once again. “When I said I couldn’t live without you, I meant every word.” He bit his lip. “I’m going to be honest, Magnus. I don’t want anything else. I don’t want the world. I just want you.”

            Magnus felt his still, lifeless heart warm at Alec’s blunt confessions. “I’m here, Alexander. I’m sorry for hurting you.” He swallowed, releasing Raphael to move toward Alec. “We’re home. We’re safe. That’s what matters.” He paused with his hand on Alec’s cheek. “Raphe, I need blood. I can’t. . .” He let go of Alec, standing and taking a few more careful steps away from him. “I’m sorry, Alexander, but you smell delicious. I can’t risk it. I love you too much to allow myself to hurt you.”

            “I know. You won’t hurt me, Magnus.” Alec stepped forward, cradling Magnus’ face in his hands. This was the first time he’d had a moment alone with Magnus since he’d returned, and he wanted to make the most of it. The magic flowed between the two of them where they made contact, and when Alec leaned in, swiping his lips over his tongue, Magnus felt his fangs extend.

            “It’ll cut you.” He breathed.

            “I don’t care.” Alec breached the space between their lips, Magnus immediately responding in kind. His fangs gently nicked Alec’s bottom lip and he tasted blood so sweet that it made his knees weak and a wrecked moan passed through his lips. Not only could he taste the angelic bond within Alec’s blood, but also his own magic thrumming through Alec’s veins. Despite tasting his own blood, Alec didn’t pull away. He pressed closer to Magnus, his hands trailing down to his muscled arms as he felt his entire being light up with magical power and the euphoria of being able to taste him again after thinking that he was dead.

            Eventually, though, Alec had to pull away to breathe. He moved away, gasping for air. Magnus chased his lips at first, before realizing what he’d done and taking a step back, sending their shared magic back under the surface, buzzing quietly beneath their skin. “Only one of us needs to breathe. That’s going to prove difficult.” Alec commented with a grin. “We’ll work through it. You’re a Vampire-Warlock, and I’m a Shadowhunter-Warlock. It’s okay. We can get through this. Together.” His voice was strong, confident, and powerful, contrasting against how pitiful he had sounded before. He wiped dried blood off his lips. The small cut had already been healed over by the magic flowing between them.

            “Don’t let me do that again.” Magnus licked away Alec’s blood from his own lips. “We’ll both get addicted. The vampire venom is dangerous for you.”

            “It was an accident. It’s fine.” Alec tried to reassure him. He was so happy that Magnus was with him again. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and never let go.

            “Just wait. I should go help Raphe.” Magnus took another, larger, step away from Alec. He found Raphael in his kitchen, pouring the blood into a glass.

“I’d thought you’d prefer it this way.” He said, handing it over. “Blood Berry Martini. Take this and then clean yourself up. I’ve already put clothes in the bathroom. I’m glad you’re okay, but I’m going to head out and let my clan know about this new development. You’re one of the Night Children now, and Alec is a Warlock. This is an interesting development for the Shadow World.”

“This might be enough to turn it upside down. Alexander and I were already a bit hard to handle as it was.” He accepted the glass, bringing it up to his lips. It was still strange to know that he was drinking blood when he had always been the kind of man who enjoyed all the pleasures of mundane cuisine, but he figured that he could learn to accept it. He’d just have to remember to brush his teeth very thoroughly after drinking.

He had been the High Warlock for over a century, after all. This wasn’t the strangest thing to happen to him. He smiled at Raphael, who was still standing there, staring at Magnus intently, as if he was afraid Magnus would disappear forever the moment he left.

“My sweet boy.” Magnus tapped Raphael’s cheek fondly. “It’s okay. I’m not leaving you again, I promise.”

“I can’t lose you again.” Raphael threw himself into Magnus’ arms. “You’re the only family I have left. Please Papá, don’t go again.”

Magnus’ gaze softened, and he rubbed Raphael’s back. “Silly boy. I’m not going anywhere.” He squeezed him briefly, making him wince when he accidentally applied too much pressure, not used to having superhuman strength. “Sorry. Hurry and go, before the sun rises.”

Raphael nodded, hastily making his way into the room Alec was still in and then exiting out of the door.

Magnus crossed his legs, hopping up onto a bar stool as Alec walked into the room and made his way over to him, he pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Are you going to come to bed with me?” He asked hesitantly.

Magnus nodded. “I smell like grave dirt and blood, and I know you could care less, but I can’t go to sleep like this. I’ll join you soon.” He breezed past Alec with his newfound speed, finding a warm bath already ran for him. Raphael had even put in a drop of sandalwood essential oil, just enough to remind him of the home he loved so much without triggering any painful memories. He stripped down and settled into the water, breathing in the comforting scent before he washed his hair and lathered his body with unscented soap. Anything else was still too much for his newly hypersensitive nose to handle.

He took some time to himself, not only so he could begin to feel like himself again, but also to prepare for the conversation he would have to have once he climbed into bed with his dear Alexander. Once he was finished, he dressed in a dark blue robe Raphael had purchased for him on his 387th birthday and black silk sleep pants. He walked into their bedroom, pulling the blankets aside and climbing into Alec’s open arms, resting his head on his bare chest.

Alec’s fingers found their way into his scalp, slowly carding through the damp strands of hair. “You died.” He whispered.

Magnus nodded his head. “I’m back. Not alive, but...back.” He mumbled, not sure what else to say. Should he apologize? Tell him that it would never happen again? That wasn’t a promise Magnus could make without it being a lie. He could still hear the soft sound of Alec’s heartbeat, but it gave him comfort instead of sending him into another thirst filled frenzy. He had already drunk his fill. It’d be fine for now.

“You’re wearing the ring.”

“I am.” Magnus reached the hand with the ring up, using it to take the ‘M’ and ‘B’ rings from his other hand and hold them out for Alec. “If this ring is what I think it’s for, then I just want you to know the answer is yes. Now and forever.”

“It was.” Alec nodded. “Before you died, I had an entire spectacle planned for tomorrow that I know you would thrive in. I know you love extravagance, and I felt that was the least you deserved for agreeing to spend the rest of our time on their earth together.”

Magnus couldn’t help but smile. “What do you think of Magnus Lightwood?” He asked, preferring to stick to more lighthearted conversation for now. “Or Lightbane? Banewood?”

“I was thinking we’d hyphenate.” Alec offered instead.

Magnus made a noise of agreement. “Lightwood-Bane.”

“Lightwood-Bane.” Alec agreed, sliding his hand under Magnus’ robe and feeling his skin. He was cold, much colder than what Alec had expected. But he could get used to the feel of Magnus’ ice-cold body against his own. He ducked his head down, brushing his lips against the hollow of Magnus’ throat. He was so unbelievably happy just to know that he still had the most important person in his life. His heart was still here. “Thank you for coming back to me.” He whispered.

“There will always be a part of me with you. I’ll never leave. Not completely.” Now, this was a promise Magnus could make. He could guarantee that Alec would not have to worry about him leaving forever because Magnus had given the part of him that remained to Alec completely when he had died. That would always remain, no matter what happened to Magnus.

Alec nodded, and Magnus could feel the wetness of tears on the hollow of his throat. “Then I’ll just never let you die, then. I’ll keep you with me here, forever. I’ll never let go.”

Magnus shuffled downward, meeting Alec’s soft, trembling lips in a passionate kiss, their shared magic going wild around them. “Alexander, you don’t have to hold me like I’m going to disappear.” He reassured him. “Verus amor non morietur.”

“True love cannot die.” Alec choked out. “But you can. So, I can’t let you go. Not now, not ever.”


End file.
